August 14, 2026
Many patients who have been on the fence about getting surgery for years have lamented the fact that they waited so long. It takes time to make a life-changing decision, for sure—plastic surgery is no joke. So let’s talk about the process of decision-making and tools that can help you determine whether or not a surgical procedure is right for you.
Within the context of plastic surgery, the ‘confidence gap’ refers to the time between contemplating surgery and booking it. Essentially, the confidence gap measures your confidence in pursuing the procedure. The length of this gap varies between patients; it can be fairly wide for some but narrow for others.
When a patient is considering plastic surgery, the process generally goes something like this:
“I started considering getting plastic surgery after having my last child. After some years of healing and debating, I felt ready to get my body back to the way it was before pregnancy and childbirth. I did some research, shopped around, and got some quotes. I considered the surgery further after getting all the information and decided on the best time to book. I completed all the necessary preparation and got my procedure done a few months after my initial appointment.”
Here’s the thing: most patients are generally ready to pursue plastic surgery by the time they make it into a surgeon’s office. The confidence gap really exists in the period between that initial contemplation and the consultation appointment—the “years of healing and debating,” from the anecdote.
Aside from the material reasons why someone would wait to have surgery (e.g., finances, recovery from previous surgery or childbirth, working to reach a goal weight), there are very real psychological factors at play.
Making decisions is one of the most human things we do. Unlike many other species that act spontaneously, either through reflex or learned patterns, we humans like to mull things over, sometimes to a fault.
It’s critical to be discerning, to be sure. Plastic surgery is a major decision and one that should never be taken lightly. Mulling it over only becomes a problem when it drives avoidance. This avoidance provides short-term comfort, but in the long term it keeps us stuck.
The more patients avoid taking the steps needed to pursue plastic surgery (despite really wanting it), the harder it becomes to book the procedure.
The benefit of centuries of decision-making is that some very smart humans have come up with a few strategies that help when the decisions seem too big.
First, you want to get really rational about your decision. Start by making a pros and cons list. What are the benefits you’ll gain from having plastic surgery? What are the drawbacks? One of the benefits of plastic surgery might be that you’ll feel more confident in your body. A drawback could be that plastic surgery is costly.
If you’d like, you can even assign values (from 0 to 2) to each item depending on how important it is for you (0 being unimportant and 2 being very important). The benefit of feeling good may be ‘very important’ to you, so you give the item a full score of 2. The cost might also be important, but less so (maybe you already have the money saved up), so you give it a score of 1.
Once your list is complete, you can tally up the scores to see which side (benefits or drawbacks) has the highest value.
Another key component of deciding to move forward with plastic surgery is to assess your feelings about it. Reflect on how it would feel to finally have the surgery versus how you feel when the effects of the avoidance wear off.
If the thought of surgery is nagging at you persistently, it may be worth exploring what continues to draw you to the procedure. If there’s still some apprehension, don’t be afraid to ask for advice from the people you trust.
Plastic surgery is a very personal choice, but it doesn’t have to be isolating. If you have a friend who’s had plastic surgery and is open to sharing, ask about their experience. If you have a family member who is a great, non-judgemental listener, use them as a sounding board. Maybe you’d like the professional advice of a therapist; get them involved too.
And if you still have questions, ones that can’t be answered by the people in your life, you can talk to a patient coordinator and, ultimately, a surgeon. Share your fears about getting surgery and ask them how likely these fears are to manifest. Try to get an idea of their protocol if a problem arises. Ask the important questions so you can get the facts down and feel empowered to make an informed decision.
Ultimately, even with all these strategies, moving through uncertainty often requires taking a small step forward. Confidence isn’t something that grows in a vacuum. It’s developed through experience. When we do the things that scare us, when we step outside our comfort zone, we teach ourselves that we can do difficult things.
Meeting with a plastic surgeon can feel like a daunting step. But a consultation is not a commitment to have surgery; it’s an opportunity to learn more from a top expert in the field. At The Plastic Surgery Clinic, a consultation gives our surgeons the opportunity to discuss your goals in person and help you develop realistic expectations about what a procedure can and cannot achieve.
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You don’t need to decide immediately, but you also don’t have to remain stuck in uncertainty. Gathering information and having a consultation can help you ultimately decide whether surgery is right for you.
When patients finally undergo the procedure they’ve wanted for so long, many find that they wish they’d done so sooner. Fewer years of indecision and less time longing for something within reach.
Some supportive approaches to addressing ‘surgical ambivalence’ include creating a pros/cons list, consulting with trusted people, and asking the right questions. As always, our team of experts is here to help guide you along your journey, whether or not you decide to proceed with surgery.
Did we answer all your questions? Our goal is to ensure you have the best information possible to make your decision. If you still have questions, we’re here to help.
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